Friday, July 18, 2008
The preggo brain has set in and so have the hormones. I am a walking time bomb. I am happy one minute.. calm and relaxed and then BLAM! I remember I forgot to do a million things and I become cranky, crazed, and mean! I don't remember being this unreliable in my first pregnancy. I am forgetting stupid things... I forgot to put stamps on some mail and it was returned to me... now it's late. I forgot to check what day I made a spa appt on and it turned out that I made it for a Tuesday instead of the Saturday that I showed up. I was super pissed about that one! I forget what day it is sometimes. I'm a mess! I can't concentrate either. I try to start a new project, get sidetracked (usually by a very bossy 3 year old) and then end up accomplishing NOTHING! I'm thinking I need a vacation from summer vacation! I need to go away for a weekend by myself. I'm no good to anyone right now. I am anti social and crabby. I just want to do what I want to do with no distractions. Is that crazy? Where would I go? How could I possibly do this on my own? I'm so tempted to just go! To where? Well, I'm pulled to the water... a beach of sorts. I would love to go to the Cape, but that is too far to drive by myself and too expensive to justify. SO, I am thinking just renting a room at Sylvan Beach on Oneida Lake and veg out. Scrap all day, eat when I want, sleep when I feel like it. Just sit in the sand? okay, it's a dream. It's probably not going to happen. Life is not fair and with Matt working and everyweekend filling up, I am having a hard time just planning this. I feel guilty and tempted all the same. I do have a week until I spend an entire week (Mon- Fri. 8-5) at a papermaking workshop with Margie Hughto. She is a very well known artist locally and has work all over the world. I am so excited to see her studio and spend a week making ART for myself! Maybe that will re-energize me. Art always does. NO disruptions, just artists working together. I'm super ready for that! So, I will post pics when I am done with that workshop and who knows, it might take my scrap art in a new direction! Now, to get some stuff done and stop putting it off and stop whining about all that's making me crazy in my life.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
It's official... I'm pregnant again. That was quick work. Really excited and happy about it. I have another sono today to see that little bundle. I saw the baby 2 weeks ago with a heartbeat! So, my due date is set for January 25, 2009! That seems so far away. I'm nervous, excited, scared to death, and worried all at the same time. I am hoping today's sono is perfect and that I can breathe a bit easier. I'm trying to take care of myself, but it's been a rough month. I've felt cruddy, exhausted, and FAT! Yep, I'm in the stage where nothing feels good. Just the thought of exercise makes me want to run and jump into bed. I'm wiped out! It doesn't help that Matt has been gone out of town for a total of 2 1/2 weeks this month for "work". I say that with tongue in cheek as it doesn't sound too bad to be childless, feed for free, provided with entertainment and drinks, and around intelligent adults all day. So, excuse me for being a bit resentful. He says it's not fun and it's tiring.. POOR baby... Try working, being a "single" mom for a week at a time, carrying a child who is wrecking havoc with my hormones, and dealing out discipline for a mouthy 3 year old. It's not fun at all!!! I am so in need of a vacation. I'm not talking Caribbean... well, that does sound nice, but something close by and only for a weekend would do. I am thinking a room facing water and sand, even if it is a lake, with a table for scrapping and a blender for virgin daiquiri's. I want no responsibilities at that time and no time schedule other than to eat when I feel like it, nap when I'm tired, and scrap the rest of the time. Really? Is that too much to ask? I would love the company of some other girlfriends, but I'm really thinking that being all by myself doesn't sound too bad either! LOL... maybe it's the hormones. In any case, I need a break!